Take a Stand
by MissHyen
Summary: Curtis Everett is haunted by past atrocities he and others have committed in the back of the train. He is giving up hope until he is reminded of how much he is needed by others to fight for their freedom. (Curtis Everett x OC, Tanya, Edgar)


The agonized scream at the back of the train car ended abruptly and then there was silence for a few seconds. Curtis looked up waiting for the follow up sound. His expression turning sour as the sound of a newborn baby squalling filled the back of the train.

"Mazel tov." Edgar said sarcastically.

"Shut up Edgar." Curtis muttered as he pulled his beanie off and rubbed his hair. He put the hat back and threw his legs up onto the bed, laying back and closing his eyes. He hated the sounds of birth and newborns giving their first cry. It reminded him too much of the horrors and pain he endured as well as put others through in the beginning.

Every time there was word of another pregnancy, he shook his head and wished people had more control of themselves rather than act like animals, rutting and fighting, crying and carrying on like savages. But it wasn't the people that sickened him, it was the situation they forced to live through. He'd witnessed people die, having sex, giving birth, but the births disturbed him the most, they made him feel haunted. He wanted to have hope for the new lives in the train car but it was hard to do in such horrible conditions.

"It's another boy." Tanya walked by quickly, stopping to tell Curtis and Edgar.

"I don't care, it's just another mouth to feed." Edgar griped.

"Shut up, Edgar." Curtis grumbled.

"Boy, shut your mouth. That child didn't ask for this life and neither did we." Tanya gave Edgar a harsh look and moved on to the front of the train car to go find Timmy, her son, who was playing with some other children.

Too many new babies had been arriving lately and it haunted Curtis when he would see their large eyes looking at him as mothers walked by carrying them, or when his own woman, Sarah, would babysit at their bunk for various reasons.

"Man, if Sara ever gets pregnant what are you going to do?"

"Edgar, give it a rest."

He felt the train rattle and shake as it lulled him to sleep. He woke up later with an arm around his chest and a head in the crook of his arm. He moved closer to her as she cuddled in to his side, kissing his cheek.

"You okay? That was a long one." She asked quietly, not wanting to wake the others.

"I'm fine."

"It was rough, I thought we might lose Trisha and her baby for a while there."

"Maybe it would have been better that way." He immediately regretted the words knowing how Sarah would react.

She leaned up and looked down at Curtis with disdain. "Don't say that. Don't talk like that. You said yourself we need to ban together. We have to support each other so we can fight. That was a horrible thing to say."

She turned over angrily and curled up in a ball to keep warm. He laid on his back for a second more before turning and holding her arm. He felt her shaking and knew she was crying into her pillow.

"I'm sorry, you're right. It's just hard to understand your happiness over that."

"Over what, a new life? New possibilities? They could grow up and be the ones to end this nightmare." She turned over to her back and looked over at him.

"What if that was me. What I was the one squatting in a dirty corner, giving birth to our baby. If I had problems would you want me and the baby to die too?" Her eyes shone with tears and Curtis swallowed the lump in his throat.

"No." He made sure they were extremely careful when they had sex. It was usually quick and quiet, and he always made sure to pull out and finish in one of their hands or Sarah would quickly move and swallow his semen. He wanted to take every precaution that they never brought a child in this world or he lost Sarah in childbirth.

They laid quietly for a long time, before he leaned up on one arm to look down at her. "I'm sorry", he said finally. "I didn't mean to upset you."

She wiped her eyes and looked at the wall behind him, "I thought I was pregnant a few months ago."

Curtis' eye widened in fear and his hand was on her belly immediately. "Why didn't you say anything?" He whispered, his voice a frightened hiss.

"I'm not, but I was scared. I've seen women die, babies die or else they're sick from lack of food. I didn't know what to say because I didn't want you to be worried with me. We need you and you can't afford to be thinking of me when there are so many others who need you."

"I'm doing this for you!" He said, his voice louder than he expected before he lowered it quickly when a few voices in the area murmured their complaints. "I want you to have the life you deserve so you can have all the babies you want and we can be happy somewhere away from this hell." He ran his hand along his hat, scratching his hair through the fabric.

"No more protein blocks, no more dirty water for drinking and bathing, a decent private bedroom so we can make love and not feel like animals in a cage being watched". He stopped suddenly and let out a hopeless sigh and fell back onto the dirty mattress.

Sarah got up on one arm to look down at him this time. "We'll have that one day. You're a strong man and I'm behind you, we all need you, you're the one who took a stand. You have to stop blaming yourself for the past. We all did horrible things to survive. Do you know what some of us have to do to make sure the children get enough food? You have to think about the future."

Curtis looked at her, his eyes wet with tears.

"I don't know what else I can do anymore."

"Fight." She leaned down and nestled into his chest again.

"When they come back here and the others all sit down. You stand, you keep standing and show people that we don't have to be afraid anymore."

Curtis looked at the top bunk above them and then around the area. They did need him, and Sarah needed him. They all needed someone to stand for them.

He would stand up.


End file.
